Theatre Review: Awful Egyptians at The Alhambra, Bradford

Taking inspiration from Night at the Museum, John-Paul Cherrington’s Awful Egyptians utilises a teacher and student locked inside an Egyptian exhibition to frame the history lesson. Mr Bland (Jack Ballard) and Milly’s (Megan Parry) banter comparing emojis to hieroglyphics results in the accidental summoning of a spirit from an artefact.

Milly’s Horrible History book acts as part guide while Ramesses II (Rob Cummings) takes us on a tour through the grossest and goriest elements of Egyptian history, signposted by subtitles splattered onto the back screen with snake venom. From pyramid building to mummification, “gruesome grave robbers”, “Amenemhat’s Escape Room” and gaining entry into the afterlife, Cherrington debunks myths. There’s plenty of cultural reference gags from Minions to a mummy doing the 6-7 dance, Marilyn Manson’s Beautiful People, Traitors, Shelley’s famous poem Ozymandias, Alan & Amanda’s Tomb Designers and King Zoza channelling Donald Trump to “make Egypt great again”.

Reminiscent of a pantomime, the show combines Jacqueline Trousdale’s animations and projections with musical numbers courtesy of Matthew Scott to bring history to life with minimal props and costume changes. Body parts are lobbed at the stage during “Making a Mummy” after explaining how the first mummy came to be. There’s an audience participation funeral chant and in the second half special sunglasses for Egypt’s brightness reveal objects flying into the stalls in a 3D relic hunter Indiana Jones style.

Expect liberal toilet humour, high energy cast in multiple roles and ringing ears by the end. While some of the gags don’t quite land, Awful Egyptians cleverly conceals facts amidst the revelry to delight, disgust and scare in equal measure and just like a panto there’s plenty for all the family to enjoy.

Awful Egyptians showed at The Alhambra, June 4-6, 2026: https://birminghamstage.com/shows/terrible-tudors-awful-egyptians/#tour-dates